The New National Animal

A new national Animal
Basu ka bakwas


So our national Animal Panthera tigris or tiger is soon to be joining the elite club of eclipsazoology(study of extinct animals).Its time I think all of us should consider whether we should save the poor feline the added injury of gracing currency notes as an literal paper tiger.I know its bewildering as to why I will suggest this premature retirement however lets face the facts can the countrys symbol be a skeleton in a jar.There is only a grand left and that’s droping.
A billion people unable to save the tiger? Frankly when I first thought of poachers I held the vision of monied folks like Salman Khan on gadget heavy jeeps with big rifles and stuff.Oh no our National animal is being hunted out by guess what band of Criminal nomadic tribals armed with medieval traps killing tigers with bamboos.Some would have thought the symbol of national pride would have a more dignified ending.
So why would any body kill a Tiger when animal skin is not so hip these days.Cause Tiger parts are in great demand in china and these days this animals can bring in a fortune.Well so I would have expected our beloved honorable environment and Forest minister Mr jairam ramesh to teach the good Chinese that there is a more tiger friendly way of increasing libido called Viagra( Tiger penis if eaten as per Chinese traditional medicine does that).Oh obviously Ministerji was more worried over his dear college the Home Minister being too paranoid about investment by Chinese Companies in India.Our president however got the usual Chinese Soup of concerns over Tibet when she went there. Mr Jairam Ramesh is aiming at being Mr Congeniality and why not after all somebody should perform better at appeasement than the left. Back to the poor Tiger our Minister cannot do anything other than threaten mass exodus of indigenous Tribals.He is against public private partnership in conservation after all the tiger is not a BT(remember BT Brinjal) yet.There is not even token mention of upgrading the forest gaurds with better weapons ,technology or training.
Hence to save the minister from the extra labor which will take him off more important pursuits like the cause of the BT brinjal and the cause of Chinese telecom companies. To avoid the anger of our Chinese friends for preventing them from getting there’s up. To prevent causing the Tiger embarrassing special mention as a whole lot of other species join the textbook picture league just by being a national Animal. To prevent this inglorious end of a national symbol. I have a Simian simple solution.
We can have the monkey the common Rhesus monkey and that to in the see no evil,hear no evil ,and see no evil stance as the new national Animal. I think that should be a more representative symbol of the level of concern for the nation and its animals of our elected representatives. Furthermore the Chinese wont have to be worried about protecting there ancient medicinal practices of somewhat questionable value. Also they can have a tiger killed to get their manhood up whenever necessary .Importantly the monkey won’t be harassed from doing what it does .No languor would be employed to scare them from going monkey in government offices in Delhi and running amok among files of such unimportant maters as of national importance. You will agree it has a great more functionality over the worthless feline as the national animal and will expedite the process of National governance by clearing up the huge backlog of nation related files. Hence there can be no better an animal to be promoted to the banknote emblem worth post of National Animal .It will be more representative and can play a role in government as well. Lastly the Chinese Doctors fortunately are yet to find any use of Monkey Penis and body parts.