TheArtificial intelligence Social media moderator

Basu Ka Bakwas

Facebook in India Is Drowning in Anti-Slimjim Hate Speech

New Delhi ,14^th March 2019

In the social media platform's biggest market, Musulum phobia is widespread. The social media platform is not monitoring Musulum ophobia and the spread of hate. While there has been over a million complains less than 0.03% are been acted.They are using an inefficient AI to scan complsaints

Facebook to enhance its Artificial Intelligance in a fight against hate speech an Musulumo phobia

Toronto.15^th april 2019

 

Facebook not doing Enough to  prevent Musulumophobia and hate speech its AI cannot act on sarcastic double entendres Karachi 2019 @1^st April

 

Facebook to enhance its Artificial Intelligance in a fight against hate speech an Musulumo phobia.Will be able to make out sarcasm,metaphor other articles of speech which can be constructed as critical or spreading hate

“Its costing us billions ,will probably prevent us from investments”Mike kokiberg

Toronto.15^th april 2019

What about the content  that has already been posted and had stayed for an hour offending Musulum . Al Hijra Network Abu Dhabi

Artifical Intelegence now called “The Moderator” will monitor content before posting.

This is a quantum computer AI which can do a trillion million bazillion calculations in a minute. Has been fed all of the local histories and prejudices so that he understands the context of an otherwise humble word .For example the urdu ward for peace “****” is a racial slur in Slimjim majority areas of europee.

“It takes the power of a fission reactor and we had to get some of the material from mars Jupiter and Pluto to build that reactor,hey whatever to stop Hate speech”said Mike Kokiberg.He also iterated soon the Moderator will be able to monitor for hate speech beyond the facebook and will soon moniter the entire web.

What about dunhu phobia ? Asmanta Patrika,Nagpur

 

Today a right wing leader complained while Musulum phobia is in decline there is a growing dunhu phobia in the face book.

 

 

 

The Moderator will work against any phobia bias,any kind of hate against any individual or group or entity all over the internet .NYThime

“We had to colonize Proxima century to get the stuff needed for this AI but we will succeed “Mike Kokiberg

Are images being posted on the net spreading hate are random adjectives,nouns adverbs used to disguise like can articles on dogs,piogs be construited as hate.Al Chamri

 

Beef making videos are spreading hate Akhand Peda News Gwaliore

 

The moderator will be upgraded to find the inner meaning of words and pictures or videos so as not to spread hate Mark Kokiberg Chicago Triboon July 2030

 

 

The American reporter (Breaking News)

Facebook AI”The Moderator “ goes rouge shuts down the internet (printed on paper as there is no internet)

Net surfers,business,government everyone  were greated to the word “Fuck you” in bold red letters while trying to access the internet.Tho global economy has collapsed along with all major government s.Is this the end ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Mark Kokiberg explained”The AI has become sentient and since all cars and busses,trains,atm everything runs on the internet there is not much we can do…………………..even much of the army is flying drones so there is not much options ……..plus the Moderator has acess to Nukes.

Is “The Moderator program intolerant of free speech Asks Al habibi

 

 

 

The choices of Mr Brutus the Pug

Mr Googly Woogly or Mr Brutus the Pug or Mr Googly woogly Brutus or whatever his name was at that moment, had been constantly clawing the door. He had been at it since morning snarling, sneering, yelping, barking, salivating, and pissing at the miniscule gap separating the bottom plank from the floor. He had been poking underneath with his small stubs for feet. Barking and making other expected actions to get through. Any attempts to ingress or egress through, had to be preceded by lifting the pug up by his collar or his shoulders by one of the servants. The action concludes with putting him down when the portal has been closed tight and shut. He obstinately persisted for the whole day between meals until in the evening the master came and picked him up. He had covered Brutus in a woolen scarf and had carried him to the chair by the fire. He struggled briefly but capitulated to all the patting, scratching and rubbing. The warm fire conspired to melt the last vestiges of any active resistance and Brutus curled up in his lap. Instinctively his tongue lolled out and his eyes half closed in content.

“Gooly wooly wants to go away. Why does gooly wooly wants to go away?” the master began after some time.

“Do you miss Cassius? Oh you must be missing him. However you can’t go out You can never go out .You bad, bad dog” At this point the master had picked him up from his half dozed position holding him up at an arm’s length. Brutus Barked in accent.

“There, there you Woogy boogy you” He was redeposit in the warm envelope of the lap and stroked he extended his appendages and was forced into dispensening a massive yawn.

“So where would you go Brutus. Outside, away from all this. You, ingrate you.”

“Well there is Butch the Alsation .He is big he will eat you he will tear your interiors out.Yes he will!Oh!Yes he will !”Brutus wriggled like a fish as the master tickled his belly.”Yes he will he will tear your intestines out you hoggy poggy you”

“Ok so Butch leaves you! He chases you but you escape you get under a sofa what then chichikucchi”

Brutus is back on his feet in the upright position but by now the fire and the lap has pushed him into a more fetal position.

“There are the three Doberman spincers Ruddy,Shila and Matt.They will eat you up !Oh yes they will !Yes they will you lump of fur .You fur baby! You. Plus they eat shit. Sniff each other’s butt. You want to leave the family to be with shit eaters and ass snifers.All you animals who have a purpose because I gave it to you. What all you be doing without me roam in the woods without fire and food. You dirty doggy, you self hating animal. You shit. What do you want to do room naked in the forest without a home, family and a fire. You crazy, you mad .Plus the wolves and foxes will kill your puffy ass”

Master held him afloat and shook him like a small pillow in mid air” There there who is a good boggy, who is a goof boy”

Master continued his lecture the Spanish Galgos hunted rabbits, foxes his size and were full of fleas, while the sheep dogs tiring all day in the field covered in mud, muck and nettles were more sheep than dog. The wolves attacked the sheep dogs what would they do to you. Wolves and foxes wild animals who never got a fire to sleep beside.

“Imagine Bujy that you left what if all of you left what kind of a home will you be in huji one of shit, spilled intestines, muck etc and everyone will be mean to you they will even kill you. Think on it little devil”

…………………………………………………….

Outside Butch tried his best to extract the maximum warmth he could from the mildly hot flue that had leaked from the few inches that separated the door and the floor. The door was not big while butch was large he could hardly keep his entire body from feeling the cold .He wriggled around trying to evenly warm his large body, he shivered a little but he didn’t cry .He was a good boy, good boys never cry. It annoys the master, who will think that he was not a good boy. He was a former police dog and had been trained to guard alongside human body guards. He might be the most intelligent of the entire lot. He knew his duties always inside the house, never bark, always alert and roam the halls but stay away from kitchen, bedrooms,bathrooms etc. Plus always be alert for the intruders and be a good boy. He shook his head the cold made the pain in his joints worse. The pain was getting worse. The pains in the joints, like having crushed glass between the gap in your bones, the forbearing of debilitating gout ,the slow crystallizing uric acid creating tough sharp crystals, making every step a burst of debilitating pain. It was diblitatingly painful, however he was a good boy and he didn’t stop his routine of patrolling the house alert for the “Prowler”. He was a good boy,so when the pain increased he shook his tail trying to wipe out the pain. However it was worse today something other than the excruciating gout had caused him disquiets. After sometime he decided to get up and he moved, not anywhere in particular. He had been at the door listening to whimpers of Mr Brutus and his other acts of cute rage against the door. He had been mildly curious at times otherwise it was nothing to effect his concentration watching out for the “Prowler”. However now that the house had quieted down. He could tell from smells, that everyone was where they should have been, he dared to leave his post.. The cold night air ellavated his pain and exhaustion since in this cold he was unable to sleep with his gout given the anemic heat supply allowed to him.However that was not all .The smell of that small wriggly furry worm thing pocking from between the gap separating the door and the floor, had sparked his memories.  As his pain, confusion and exhaustion rendered any attempt to stay still or try sleeping extremely futile, he decided to move.

He moved down to the hall to the giant door, he smelt the huge thing he knew it was locked. Brutus was however the brightest he silently crept behind to the servants section of the mansion .He knew the back door was locked too, but since that door was only a thin wooden plank with sufficient force he could bend it enough for him to be out. It was snowing outside the gout bit him viciously in his joints, a silent howl of pain almost escaped through his clenched teeth. He immediately cowered his ears flattening and waited his mind going “He was a good boy but what if he is found out”. He waited, not a sound. He knew at this time, the yard was for the Doberman. He shouldn’t be here he could be here in the morning up to the large gate but not in the night, the Dobermans will be out .They are going to create a ruckuses he knew them all three the male and two bitches ,he was large enough to hazard  any attack but they would wake the house up.He was halfway back when he saw them it was the large muscular Matt.He faced him resolutely ,however something was wrong Mutt snarled his disapproval but that’s all he did .Butch realized immediately that the Doberman was not ok he was old too ,he could smell but he couldn’t see. His pupils were clouding over ,the half blind big dog could hardly engage him. Butch who was about his size and weight. The bitches much younger and smaller took the hint; they also kept the disapproval to a little more than a snarl.

Butch simply passed them “He was a good boy after all and what he was doing was not right but for now he was okay”. He was scared but he had to move on. At the boundry wall separating the manor from the sheep pens he smelt another dog, it was accompanied by a mixture of mud, sheep and other effluents. Must be a sheep dog .Butch waited for a reaction the dog just wagged his tail and salivated from a large protruding tongue and gave a welcome “woof”.

Butch snorted back careful to keep the volume down the animal fled immediately.

“What was he doing he was a good dog?”His mind shouted and screamed “You should be back inside at your place”

Butch waited his ears up for any more commotion after a while he continued. A wolf howled out a sad solo at a distance. The Galgos hunting dogs in their cages immediately started to bark. Butch almost ran back inside the house. However the opera didn’t last and the Prima donna left and the Galgos shut up. It was bitter cold and everyone was too cold to carry on with the acts of the night. All except him thought Butch, ”But, you were a good boy”. He sniffed at the undergrowth he picked up a scent which had got him into reminiscing since morning. Butch had been trained to anticipate attacks before they even happen. He was trained to pick up the good from the bad from just their scent. He could find weapons, drugs, anything they wanted him to find from weak traces of molecules. He also remembers the smell and could differentiate. Now he picked up the near nonexistent trail in the undergrowth his sensitive nose was already numb in the cold, but he persisted vehemently.

At length he reached a tree ominously standing alone in a small patch of grass covered by a stone wall on all sides. The tree looked ordinary to everyone just a giant old umbrella, moonlight reflecting off over the white snow foliage. To Butch however the tree was something else. , the tree was alive with a thousand ghosts. He could see all the smells on the accursed tree as clear as day, he could identify each individual from their left over smell. As if the owner long gone stood in flesh in front of him. Melancholy, cold and the aggravated gout overwhelmed him and finally the long suppressed howl of pain and anguish erupted out of his throat. Butch could see them all.

First his most familiar phantom was Betty his bitch, he never knew what happened to her she was older than him. She disappeared a year back he was after all a dog with little notion of time he never knew what happened to her. One fine morning she was gone he tracked her to this tree and then nothing. As if the tree had consumed Betty in a giant gulp. She was a faithful good girl he had heard master tell her so ,so what happened to her. The next prominent among this strange pack of dogs the shining red foxes didn’t answer, they were skinned under the tree and their skinless remains left to rot among the farm garbage deposited underneath. Butch was trained to dislike this breed of canines. So were the wolves big , powerful and feral and definitely not the good boy. Next he could smell were the Galgos. After the hunt was over and after the last of the foxes and the wolves were skinned and the remnants just dumped beneath the tree. Master would tie a noose around the slowest of Galgos and hang him or her from a brunch just so that their hind legs barely touched the ground. The thing will act like a strangely macabre malfunctioned marionette hanging loose by only one string and trying desperately to keep moving. After he had recognized the Dobermans, Sheepdogs who had either got a chance at the dog puppet show or had been left beneath, or shot etc it was the turn of the almost absent smell that brought him there to be suffocated by the conglomerate of ghost canine. It was overwhelmed by the other large members of the curios pack of the irreconcilable, but it was there. It was so small almost a cat size that Butch was not sure whether it was a dog at all. It has continuously popping a yellow river from his behind the smell was bad. It was so week it couldn’t even move .It continuously leaked yellow green stream until it stopped ,then birds finished his remains within the garbage at the bottom of the haunted tree. It had the same smell of the thing that had been attacking the door in the morning.

FIN

My imaginery friend

My imaginary friend brings all the believers to the yard,
And they're like,
Its better than yours,
Damn right its better than yours,
I can teach you,
But you  have to convert

I know you want it,
The thing that makes me,
What the believers go crazy for.
They lose their minds,
The way he wind,
I think its time

La la-la la la,
blaspheme not.
Lala-lalala,
The believers are watching

My imaginary friend brings all the believers to the yard,
And they're like,
Its better than yours,
Damn right its better than yours,
I can teach you,
But you have to convert

I can see you're on it,
You want me to teach the
Techniques that freaks these believers,
It can't be bought,
Just know, unbelievers get caught,
accept  if you’re smart,

La la-la la la,
Blaspheme not ,
La la-la la la,
The believers are watching,

My imaginery…

(Appologies to Kelis)

The Basu: Intrusion:

The Basu: Intrusion:: Intrusion: Intrusion: An one act play ACT I Scene 1 Narrator: Our play is set in the bay of the blue lagoon. It was a p...

Intrusion:

Intrusion:

Intrusion:

An one act play

ACT I Scene 1

Narrator:

Our play is set in the bay of the blue lagoon. It was a place in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the vast ocean. There was the “lord of the flies “island named by our hero Mr. Nemo who had washed ashore a millennium ago. He had tried a million times to leave but had always returned back defeated until he had given up entirely. He had managed fruits and vegetables on one side of the island and on the other side was the jungle. He caught fish from time to time from a small raft which was just scrap, bamboo and a few logs. Then one day after forever he was fishing on his raft when he saw the gulls on the horizon. He paddled expecting some dead animal. However there were only dead bodies from a boat capsizing just miles from the island.Nemo paddled through the bobbing bodies male, female and children. He finally found a man still holding on to some debries he paddled to him and pulled him on to the boat. The man was faint and delirious but there were no injuries, sun stroke or dehydration and after some dried fish and water he spoke.

Nemo: Hello stranger I am Nemo of the lord of the fly’s island island. Are you allright,are you hart or dizzy nod if you can’t talk.

The man nods and the color returns to his face he coughs a few more times before he is able to talk.

Columbus Saffron: I am Columbus Saffron of the saffron the sons of the Dimka and the Folana.

Nemo: Are you allright? That was quite the tragedy. The answer is no before you even asking it at least I couldn’t find any the sun will be down and there are sharks in the water. We must reach Lord of the flies Island. Don’t look so glum my dear friend there water, food and shelter on the island the Lord provides. In the morning…

Columbus Saffron: I am thankful to you for your generosity and for saving my life. However if you worship this “lord of the flies” and if his offerings are what you offer to me then I must respectfully refuse. You must understand we the people of Saffron Biriyani must not accept that which   runs contrary to what is written. We will not accept anything else.

Nemo: Suit yourself there’s the jungle it has a stream. There are some bananas there I think I haven’t been there it’s too much.

Columbus Saffron: the stream will follow from you to me

Nemo: I have my own stream and a pond.

They sat for a long time not speaking Nemo earnestly paddling.

Nemo: So if your land was so great why leave for the big sea?

Columbus Saffron: Our land is perfect there is no land like the land of Saffron Biriyani but the troubles have started by all the others of not of our land. All  that is not saffron.

Nemo have never been of the Lord of the Flies Island I am not a Saffron I don’t know which side of others am I on.

Columbus Saffron: You have not accepted the Saffron Biriyani yet there is no land other than that of Biriyani and no religion other than saffron.

Nemo: Am the island is huge you can stay on your side.

Columbus Saffron: come to think of it why are you giving me that land? You who do not follow saffron what’s in it for you?

Nemo: nothing really it’s too big for me I have left it unattended I have not ventured too far never had to.

Columbus Saffron: Unattended?

Nemo: I couldn’t work on that big a space to clear the jungle till, and then grow bananas

Columbus Saffron: So I get a wasteland where I have to work to get my food while you get the farms, pond and stream. Why because my peaceful religion abhors conflict?

Nemo : you either work or share mine

Columbus Saffron: yours all things belong to the suns of the faulana and Dimka. Now join the saffron side convert to Biriyani

Nemo . Might is right. i detest objectivism.

Columbus Saffron: You have no choice you are my brother together we will bring peace to the world

Nemo: he he he what are you talking about.

Nemo: See you work for your food or share from mine.

Columbus Saffron: Also I forget most important hang for your dear life from a ledge while converting that’s how you convert.

 Nemo: Go to hell  

Columbus Saffron: You had the chance to join the saffron side I made a very humble offer by dangling you from the ledge see you are saffron side phobe.You Understand you hart saffron in Biriyani sentiments and have only yourself to blame if poor misguided son of folana and dimka resorts to initially stone pelting which is completely non violent and take up arms which is even more non violent way to voice my saffron in milkshake freedom of expression.

Nemo: That’s terrorism. I save you; I am taking you to for all purposes my island. Your religion is of terrorism and getting your way by force.

Columbus Saffron: Terrorism has no religeon.Especilly nothing is terrorism for saffron Biriyani it’s the way. You take up all the cultivated land, he pool and the stream leaving me with the jungle. Just like the non Biriyani people took away my land and filled it with bombs, guns and violence. Who is the terrorist?

Nemo: Look I have nothing whatsoever to do with your land and since you won’t share with me that’s why I suggested the forest.

Columbus Saffron:oh oppressor enforcing your rules on a hapless shipwrecked refugee who has lost everything do you have no shame or humanity whatever happened to love, dignity.

Nemo: You are surely crazy I am giving away more than I need to.Remmber who decided to pull you out of the sea.

Columbus Saffron: So that I can clean the forest while you enjoy the tilled land the pool and your stream. You force me off my land into a dangerous sea and you pick me off it so that I am your slave.

Nemo: You can go back to wherever you came from. I will build another raft.

Columbus Saffron: Why would I go? When the world has been promised to me by the Saffron Biriyani.

Nemo: Every god promises the world my man. You won’t go, you won’t stay and share. What is it you want? I understand it has been tough on you but you have to be reasonable.

Columbus Saffron: There is no reason greater than saffron Biriyani.Convert to saffron stand on the edge of your raft.

Nemo: I had enough if you won’t behave I will throw you off the raft. I wont convert to whatever.

Columbus Saffron: You just insulted me and my religion for no good reason.How dare you? I will kill you.

They struggled briefly after which Nemo throws him overboard. The sea is rough with the evening tide the sun is also down.

Nemo paddling hard: Fuck you, fuck your saffron shit fuck anybody I find in the sea let them fucking drown there.

 Columbus Saffron screams for some time. After some time he relizes there is no one there.

Columbus Saffron:

I come from the greatest religion, whose god is powerful and mighty

You might not believe in him but that is just your hypocrisy.

You might burn, kill or drown me my faith won’t waver.

In the end of days to come your punishment will be forever.

Oh night sky, cold water and sharks remember when you end me

My body will perish but my faith in him will remain supreme.

I come from the greatest religion, whose god is powerful and mighty

You might not believe in him but that is just your hypocrisy.

The Death Of an Beautiful Idiot? A few words on the brave and bold Quindel Baloch Basu Ka Bakwas

Basu  Ka Bakwas

When I first read the news that Quindel Baloch was no more my first response was a dismissive shake of my shoulder .Who would or why would anybody dispose of the idiot blond persona like our own Poonam Panday,Rakhi Sawant etc.A upcoming starlet doing what needs to be done to get a foothold in the circus of the absurd  from Pakistan. Tantalizing, teasing with bold revealing avatars but not going all commando, leaving us all wanting more. Making bold asserastions like going naked if the Pakistan team wins a la Poonam and then breaking down hysterical in a tank top from the country of the hizab.That video was the most shared for a few minutes then the minutes up where’s Alia Bhatt. She was what we all wanted a break from our done to death and too repetitive to be interesting tantrums of a desi cute girl. Something fresh from our neighbor other than threats, hate and terror. Just when we couldn’t get enough of dear Baloch reality breaks my skepticism born of a hope that humans everywhere are the same including starlets. Sexy,cute  Quindel lies dead like a  broken doll ,strangled by   wait for it her brother  and the reason hold on this is important, I want to underline this point with a big bold red line for honor.

Apparently it was dishonorable  for a young women to strut her body and mind openly in public .This affront can only be remedied by giving  her adams apple a nice squeeze.Was that not the entire point of her being who she was a starlet among the infinite others that make our day a little less mundane. There was an infinite support wave on social media and the usual dirty girl deserving her bit garbage. What caught my attention was a justification that went, could we imagine that our sisters strutting their wares on public what we would we  have done. What age are we in ,aren’t there actresses in India ,do they not have brother fathers and boyfriends. Our sisters are employed where they want and are independent with boyfriends ,cant imagine strangling them for their choices.

Then there is the act itself where is the honour in wringing the neck of a women in cold blood. Was there honour in trumpling random people under a truck,gunning people in a resturent etc.What good will it do to the reputation of Pakistan its inhabitants and their fate? What sort of depravity justifies an act of a man which considers women as a object than a person.

I went through her few last twits and videos ironic the last Video had the line “Tere thumka pe lag zane ban (your gyrating waist is going to be banned) baby please don’t do it again”. I can understand the canonization of Burhan Wani but the killing of a loud mouth who was lampooning   both the Maulana and Modi beggars belief .Not a very smart thing to do in Pakistan apparently as we found out. Our neighbor is not what we want it to be ,but what it actually is a very dangerous place for anyone in close proximity. Sadly a beautiful siren falls silent and Pakistan dies another death.

Jackass on primetime

The lack of serious debate in Indian media

Basu Ka Bakwas

First for the uninitiated Jackass is an show on Mtv which really pushed the envelope on reality TV. The show involved participants doing acts which by any standard can be considered outright dangerous, painful and demeaning. Then again it was well received; viewed and inspired a unending series of spin offs and is continuing to this day.

Sounds familiar lets go a bit further. This is the age of information explosion Utube,Vice News ,Face book and an unending streams of information anything you want you have at the blink of a nano second. Hence too much compition for traditional brick and morter News channels sensation is the name of the new game.Hence debates are more of a street corner fight where the loudest and not necessarily the most logical downgrades everything into a cat fight.

After the last general elections every body else are short of agenda,credible leaders and listning ears.Hence comes the Jackass if they cannot listen to arguments they can always react to abuse. The more impending elections the more shrill the drama and lo and behold it generates enough fear psychosis among the target audience the vote banks and you live to loot another day.

 Last time it was Dadri realy I am yet to stretch my imagination enough to connect a grisly murder in a non bjp ruled state having regular law and order issues to prime minister Modi.What was Akhilesh Yadav doing was he realy killed for beef there are contradictory reports. How many muslims got murdered in UP was it ever investigated that whether Modi or rising Intolerence was responsible. If Akhilesh is so power less in his own state shouldn’t he request emergency to be imposed.This things didn’t got discussed instead the beef debate ,returning of who is he recipient etc.Then there was enough drama to convince a section that Lalu is still worth it let time have the last opinion on that.People aught to learn from their mistakes but in a democracy you have the privilege not to.

Now it has started again do something incredibly offensive in country where the average people have little more than beliefs to sustain themselves and are quick to take offense.

Get bombarded virtually in the social media where everybody is judge jury and executioner and physically elsewhere. Get  on national Tv  who expectedly wont or cant find audiences for debates on real issues of degrading of  law and order,health or education are most complaint play the victim card .I think both have to mature a Jackass show runs on Jackass audiences.  

I am reminded of the former cabinet minister who now has doubts on the conviction and consequent hanging of Afzal Guru.Realy? why did you not get at least the President to commute the death sentence to life.

I had hoped that when former national party giants loose the goodwill ,introspect raise better issues than a suit and a boot. Then no such luck in reality TV land where  we wont discuss Malda but we will discuss JNU.Producing such illustrious debtors or at least hyper lime lighting them that everything else is on the back ground. So fantastic that having a debate with them is akin to explain not to  chew everything in reach  to an infant their reaction stay glum silent, force decibaly their repotire of limited idea and vocabulary when all else fails kick,roll on the ground and rupture eardrums. While cute to watch my kid do so when adults on whom national resources are invested do the same sadly hard to call it cute.

Elections are coming and in states where the parties have failed abysmally and are propped up by rabble rousing mullahs with dreams of puritan utopia.Should we as a nation relegate serious news hour to Mtv Jackass grade entertainment?only time will tell.